pojok

A diplomat’s life
19-02-2007 11:32:48 AM
By FOO YEE PING
Being an envoy or ambassador is not all about cocktail parties and formal functions. The way you dress, how you behave and what your spouse does are always under scrutiny.
IN THE wonderful fabled world of diplomacy, membership has its privileges. A black-tie dinner here, a cocktail party there ... and there’s the chauffeur, the fancy car with tinted windows and the diplomatic passport that provides a certain level of immunity.
But beneath the glam and the glitz, there are also the untold stories of toil and sweat.
For one, diplomats live in glasshouses, where their manners and appearance are often scrutinised.
Heard about the envoy who quarrelled with his wife inside their car, and the woman marched out of the vehicle, barefooted? Such behaviour is scandalous with a capital S.
A Cabinet minister, another story goes, visited a diplomat at his residence and was greeted by the diplomat's wife, who was wearing slippers. In a reality show, this woman would have been booted out in round one.
Which is why diplomats are coached on how not to become a fashion disaster.
“We were given lessons on colour combinations, right down to matching socks,” recalled Datuk Hamidon Ali, Malaysia’s Permanent Representative to the United Nations.
Slap the person who tells you not to judge a book by its cover.
Diplomats and their significant others are also given a clothing allowance depending on factors such as the country’s climate.
Now based in New York, Hamidon is a career diplomat with a Masters in Public Administration from Harvard and 33 years of experience.
“There are many things that go beyond what we were taught; the way you talk, the proper way a house should be kept and so forth,” said Hamidon.
Private lives should be spotless, too.
“No scandals, avoid affairs. You are representing the country,” said Hamidon.
Outsiders may scorn at all the dinner parties and the “golf diplomacy” but Hamidon gave a peek into what actually goes on at such occasions.
“A lot of networking and lobbying take place during a reception. We would pull a person aside, asking him for his help or to find other avenues of cooperation,” he said.
Golf, he said, certainly helps break the ice, as do other games like badminton and tennis.
“You get the best info from these informal sessions,” he said.
In Hamidon’s personal opinion, a diplomat operates better with fewer barriers around himself. He would, for instance, have no qualms shaking hands with the Israeli ambassador.
Also, he would accept it in good faith when a dinner host tells him that the food served is halal.
“You can’t go in and inspect their kitchen. You don’t open their fridge or ask the cook about it. People will take offence,” he said. Believe it or not, some people have done it before, causing much ill feeling.
“I have been invited to a dinner where caterpillars were served because it was their delicacy. I had to decline politely,” he said.
New York was quite an open society that allowed diplomats to do many things, he said.
“I always tell my staff to venture out,” he said.
Still, the No. 1 rule remains: No scandals, please.
“If you have stag party and invite a stripper, you are in trouble,” Hamidon said.
How about dining at Hooters?
“It’s okay especially if you are accompanying someone there,” he said.
This is also a job where the spouse can make or break your career, said Hamidon.
“The way they carry themselves, the way they socialise, that’s important.”
There are many sacrifices required of the wives, he said. For one, these spouses, no matter how highly educated, are not allowed to have a job unless it is in a non-paying capacity like voluntary work.
Apparently, one diplomat’s wife was found working as a supermarket cashier once.
“The country’s image goes down when such a thing happens,” Hamidon said.
Why is the language of diplomacy often so convoluted while saying nothing at all?
Hamidon laughed and showed a plaque imprinted with the message: “We do and say the nastiest things in the nicest way.”
“Most of time, we stress on consensus so that everyone is on board. It is something that we have all agreed upon and the message is subject to interpretation,” he said.
Hamidon, who has served in six other countries, believed that a plus about being a diplomat was the chance of experiencing new cultures in different countries.
“Each posting is never the same,” said Hamidon, who is married and has two sons aged 21 and 27.
Growing up in Johor, he had a hunger to see the world.
His wish has come true. And no matter how strict the code of conduct is, diplomats grow into their job.
“That’s how it is in Wisma Putra,” he said.